"overjoyed... over-loved... feeling lucky"

in the past two days i've had two different friends tell me i'm the happiest person they know. what a compliment! i don't think there is anything i'd rather be known for, to be honest. people ask why i'm always so happy, or how i stay so optimistic, every so often, so here it is. lindsay's secret to being happy... no gimmick, no infomercial 2-for-1 deal, no saving your soul, no books to buy or chants to chant...
gratitude is my secret to being happy. honest! (notice i say "my" secret, not "the" secret. this may not be a one-size-fits-all straight route to happiness.) i had never heard of practicing gratitude until a few years ago, when jason mraz started talking and blogging about it and i was all "well DUH, i gotta try me some gratitude!" this is not to say that i wasn't happy before then, but the happiness i've experienced since starting to be conscious of and grateful for my blessings every day is a bigger, fuller, deeper happiness than ever before. disclaimer: i am not happy all the time! but i am grateful for the sad times, the angry times, the emotionally "off" times. the human experience would be pretty boring if i, or anyone, was happy all the time.
the practice of gratitude can look different for everyone. it doesn't have to be opening your window every morning and yelling "I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS DAY!" but it can be (remember to be grateful for your neighbors, though.) i don't have a set routine for my gratitude. sometimes i write things i am grateful for in a list. sometimes i think of as many things i was grateful for in a given day before i fall asleep. sometimes something happens and i just take a minute to consciously feel gratitude. i say "thank you" as often as i can. (it's especially enjoyable to say it in spanish. grrrrrracias! rolled "r"s are a thrill.) it's the recognition of whatever you are grateful for that counts, anything else is just a tangible, visible, audible expression of your gratitude.
right now, on a bolt bus somewhere between new york city and boston, at 3:30pm on friday september 10th, i am grateful for:
- my apartment and roommates. i am able to live in an incredible city that makes me feel exuberantly alive, in a completely adorable apartment with the best roommates a girl could dream up.
- the mild weather. it's that temperature where you could wear just about anything and be comfortable. lovely.
- my invisible children family. i was able to see my friend koji play music a couple of nights ago, and to spend time with two more members of the fam. i am spending this weekend with yet another. i met them all because they had the passion for a cause to jump on a bus with a bunch of strangers in april 2009, and they completely amaze me.
- bolt bus! this blog post is brought to you by the good people at bolt bus, who kindly provide free wi-fi. my bus driver's name is flash, and he introduced himself as a "people relocation specialist". you're a good man, flash, thanks for driving me.
- school. really! i started my last year of being a full time student yesterday, and i am so grateful for the opportunity to learn and to earn this degree that is going to help me to help other people reach their own happiness. i am going to be (i already am!) a joyologist-social worker. i am grateful for tricia huffman's inspiration!
- dried mango. i picked some up at duane reade before getting on the bus and they're delicious! way more sugar than i expected, but it's like eating candy!
- this weekend. i am going to the life is good festival to hear good music with happy people (jason mraz! brett dennen! guster! color me stoked.) it's my last hurrah of the summer and it's going to be great. LIFE IS GOOD!

what are you grateful for?

yesterday was my one year anniversary of living in new york, or as i referred to it, "mine and new york's one year anniversary." yeah, i'm one of those new yorkers. (it's been a year, i'm an official resident, can i call myself a new yorker now? should i write to the new yorker to ask? should i put my question in cartoon form??) i love this damn city so much i could kiss it. i can't for the life of me figure out how to be in love with a person, but give me a smelly loud city full of people who think (know) that they are superior to every other life form: TRUE LOVE. it's appropriate that our anniversary came immediately after i spent a whole five days away from the love of my life, hanging out with family in pennsylvania, of all places. i went to the MOUNTAINS. after one day of hiking through woods and rivers, i'd had enough nature and was ready to come back to new york where "i love nature" means "i buy organic produce from the greenmarket and sometimes go to the park to check out joggers!" new york, i love you.

things i love friday.

one of my favorite bloggers, gala darling, writes weekly "things i love thursday" posts, and "carousel" posts on fridays, which are round-ups of her favorite tidbits around the web. this will be a combination of the two... things i'm loving in real life and across the internet.

-"yes means yes: visions of female sexual power & a world without rape" essays compiled by jaclyn friedman and jessica valenti: this book is rocking my world. the way i think about sex and relationships and everything thereof is being shifted in the best way.

-this post on the invisible children blog discussing an article from the guardian about what's wrong with NGOs and well-intentioned westerners, and what we can do better.

The article highlights a troubling myth that do-gooders too often take for truth: Being a foreigner motivated by good intentions equates to being qualified. Shockingly, foreigners with no development experience—none—come to places like Gulu year after year and attempt to work with vulnerable communities in need, doing anything from offering up counseling, to helping trauma victims make products, to handing out shoes and other items. With no development philosophy guiding these behaviors, money gets wasted, the wheel gets reinvented, stereotypes get fueled, and little real change sticks.

i struggled a lot with my decision to go to the dominican republic this year and the struggle was in part because i so completely agree with the points made this post this could turn into a lengthy ramble, so suffice to say i had a good experience this year but will not be doing a trip like that again.

-ray lamontagne & the pariah dogs' new album "god willin' and the creek don't rise": so. so. good. ray was one of those artists who took a while to grow on me, but now i'm completely obsessed and this album is just gorgeous. the title track is my immediate favorite, but the entire thing is just beautiful.



-camping! i'm going to a cabin in the mountains in pennsylvania with my family next week and i can't wait for swimming in a river, exploring caves, picking blueberries, roasting marshmallows... ahh, everything. as much as i love the city, i occasionally enjoy its antithesis as well.

-homemaking. i mean literally making a home. our friend lisha moved into the apartment a week ago, and since she, tj and i were originally planning on living together a year ago, it's finally like it should be! we are planning a chalkboard wall, choosing more wall art, and generally fixing our home to be just as we like it.

i wasn't at this show, but i heard about this talk and looked it up earlier today. it hit me at the right time.

"you’re going to freak out. you’re going to have at least one moment per week where you don’t feel right. maybe it doesn’t feel so wrong if you know that it’s kind of supposed to happen to you. it is the other side of being conscious and loving, that there are going to be times you’re going to have to hit control-alt-delete. you’re just going to have to take a moment. you might be walking through the airport, you might be having the time of your life. in fact, it’s more likely to happen during the time of your life." - john mayer

i'm freaking out a little lately. i'm taking lots of these moments. bear with me, i'm trying to keep saying yes.

"what've you been up to?" i love asking this question to people i haven't seen for awhile, but lately, i don't know how to answer it when it comes to the "what about you?" portion of the conversation. i spent ten days in the dominican republic last month, doing construction work (cement blocks can suck it) and loving the most adorable kids in my world. since then, and before then, my summer's been oddly empty and full. i don't have a job. i'm not taking summer classes. i've been spending my time going to free or cheap shows and trying to embrace lazy summer. it's difficult, i don't like not having a schedule. i'm waiting to hear about a babysitting job, so i'm in this limbo where i don't really want to look for any volunteer opportunities lest they conflict with the babysitting schedule, but i can't stand not doing anything. i've read a decent amount, and self-reflected perhaps too much. i've wandered the city and shared meals with good friends. looking back on the mental list of summer goals i set for myself.... i'm a little behind. so here's what i will do this month:
-go to the beach. i've only been to the beach twice this summer, both times in the DR. for someone who has been in love with the ocean for years and spends most of her summers living within 15 minutes of the most gorgeous part of the jersey shore, this is not okay.
-get lost. i live in this incredible city and there are parts of it i've never wandered. more solo wandering excursions are necessary.
-go kayaking in the hudson. a friend and i have tried to do this once, then realized it's only open on weekends. attempt #2 will be soon.
-take a dance class. either ballet or african. probably ballet. it's been years, and my body's craving it. i dance on my own but i need to go to class. the obstacle is the cost. i need to make it a priority and just do it, because i've been saying i am going to for a while now.
-spend more time on rooftop bars. berry park in williamsburg, i'm looking at you.

one more month of summer, i vow to live it up and not spend it counting down to the start of the semester.

ciao bella dark chocolate sorbet: a love letter.

dear ciao bella dark chocolate sorbet,
we met today in the freezer at whole foods. you were on sale and i was in an emotional funk deserving of a "decadently rich" dark chocolatey cure. you were also sporting lovely minimalist packaging. did i mention you were on sale? this is whole foods we're talking about, on sale is important. so i bought you and brought you home and after a salad dinner i treated myself to a bowl of you.
my tastebuds were not prepared. i think i actually moaned. like, out loud. luckily my bowl is too deep to fit my face in, or else i'd be licking it right now. honestly, ciao bella dark chocolate sorbet, i don't think there is anyone else for me. you may have heard about my fling with mango gelato last summer, but i assure you that is dead and gone. i am head over heels. ben and jerry who?
this is the start of something beautiful.

all my love,
lindsay

yes to unity.

yesterday i stumbled across the music of trevor hall, and it was love at first listen. the song that's resonating with me the most right now is "unity", which trevor co-wrote with matisyahu. i was trying to choose a favorite line or stanza to quote here, and i seriously couldn't choose one. every word is ringing so true for me. here's a video of the song interspersed with trevor talking a bit about the creation of the song:



YES to that!