i’ve said to several friends over the course of my being in graduate school - “if there’s one thing i’ve learned from social work school, it’s that everyone is fucked up.” it’s true! we learned to categorize people’s fuckedupedness and we call these categories diagnoses because they make us feel like we understand them and make them somehow separate from us, but really? we’re all damaged, crazy, messy, and none of us make sense.
some people i love are going through some shitty times right now. i’m going through some shitty times right now. it’s tempting, when a loved one tells me that they’re feeling fucked up or when i’m feeling it, to be all “no! don’t feel that way! let’s cheer up!” but i’m not gonna do that. hey, people out there, that i love dearly and think the absolute world of - you are totally fucked up. we all are! isn’t that wild? telling you “oh no, you’re not fucked up!” will only make you feel more so because now you feel like something i’m telling you you’re not. i totally validate your feelings of fuckedupedness. there’s comfort possible in knowing we all feel that way, though, right? this is being human. i think a lot about what it means to be human and i think feeling completely fucked up is a big part of it.
another big thing i’ve learned over the last couple of years, through a combination of social work school and my addiction to self-improvement books and blogs, it’s the importance of being whatever you are whenever you are it. if you’re sad? be sad. feel it out. see what it feels like to be sad. listen to damien rice and cry like a baby. angry? be angry! stomp around or yell or do whatever angry makes you feel like doing. i’m not very good at letting myself be angry, but listening to a lot of eminem is helping me get better at it. if you’re happy, hell yeah! shake your ass and WORK that happy. whatever it is that you are, right in the moment wherever you are - be it, honor it, and know that it is temporary.
so, right now you feel messy, complicated, out of sorts, disorganized, fucked up. (am i saying fuck too much? is my blog gonna get an “adult content” warning? that’d be kinda legit. i’m learning a lot from eminem.) you are feeling that way because you are. so am i. so is that person you think has got it all together. even james franco. he’s got like a dozen master’s degrees and oscar nominations and is attending 5 schools at once or something but come on, you saw the oscars - totally fucked up! like you and me and everyone. so to you, to me, and to james franco - i acknowledge your fuckedupedness and i love you anyway. i’ll love you until you’re feeling alright again, because you will feel alright again. you’ll even feel happy again! and then we will work that happy like a tyra banks smize, girlfriend.